19/10/2018
The Fragile Sex - Men's Mental Health
3/9/2018 share 
Claudia Okyere-Fosu
Mental Health is still a taboo subject especially in Ghana. It has taken years for the UK to address this subject, sadly I can’t say the same for Ghana. In fact the matter is brushed swiftly under the carpet. Ghanaian guys are seen as losers if they admit to their problems let alone mental health issues. On many TV shows a weak man is ridiculed, particularly if he is brow beaten by his wife. I have often found myself sniggering in glee, till one day I thought to myself: what message is this sending out? Is it ok to bully a man if he appears ‘too emotional’? And if a man happened to shed tears while all this was going on, woe betide him…
We want our men (on both sides of the Atlantic) to be strong but how can they be strong when they are letting mental health issues pile up inside? No one’s saying that we want to see men bursting into tears and falling apart every two minutes but until we accommodate letting their emotions show, we are just heading for a dangerous black hole. The thing about black holes is that they suck everything around them. Now I know that women don’t have it easy, yes they are better at talking about their emotions and they still have their own battles to deal with. But when suicides for young men continue to rise, young men between the ages of 15 - 24 are more likely to commit suicide compared to young women. Throw social media into the mix and the impact on young male lives is devastating. In 2015, 75% of all suicides in the UK were male. You start to wonder, are we letting men down?
See No Evil, Hear No Evil
It doesn’t help that in Ghana mental health issues are often linked to demonic activity. I can’t tell you the countless times that a relative has told me: “that that person is cursed” or “there’s juju on them” or “someone used voodoo on them.” Let’s stop this, please! It’s not helping. I’m not saying such spirits don’t exist but let’s not point the finger while jumping to conclusions. All that hearsay does is ostracise them more, isolating that individual to the point where they start to believe that they are indeed cursed. What an awful way to treat people? What’s really concerning is that mental health is starting to affect more and more of us. As the pressures of life increase, people live busier and busier lives, getting less sleep and eating poorly. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out where we’re all heading…
Tale Tell
‘Nobody likes a tale tell’ but the time has come for men to speak up. A guy could perhaps pick one of his closest and trusted friends to confide in. The thing to remember is not all mental health issues are permanent, sometimes life throws a curveball and you might have to stretch for it but it’s only temporary. Getting back on track doesn’t have to be a difficult process. I’m hoping that Ghana will take a leaf out of the UK’s books and start the discussions rolling.
I’m not an expert but during my research on this topic the following things kept coming up and I think they will help:
- A good diet – a balanced diet is the way to go. I’m not saying cut out all junk food but I’m beginning to realise that junk food has a poor effect on my body. It also has a negative effect on my sleep and my self-image. This isn’t something that you want to indulge especially when you’re experiencing lows. Try new fruit and veg, mix up your eating routine a little and save the treats for special occasions. And while we’re here, cut down on the portion sizes, it’s the fastest way to help your body burn what you eat.
- Exercise – much more of it. As someone who spends hours in front of a computer, this couldn’t ring more true for me. I intend to get back into the gym once I’ve completed a couple of pressing assignments and the general pace of my life slows down. Yeah, yeah I hear you say, really I do honest. But it doesn’t have to be a grand gesture, just getting off a bus stop early and walking the rest of the way home or taking the stairs instead of the lift will help.
- Support Network – nothing helps you get through life better than having close friends and family around. If that’s not possible there is no harm in seeking professional counselling, in some cases this could be a preferred option when dealing with sensitive issues. They also have access to referrals should you need to press into a matter further.
- Sleep – but not as you know it. Yes, it would be wonderful to have those glorious 8 hours of sleep but the majority of people will get between 6-7 hours sleep on average. The thing to note here is not the quantity but the quality of sleep. 6 hours of good quality sleep is much better than 8 hours of tossing about. So preparing yourself before you sleep could go a long way. There’s even certain foods to avoid if you want a refreshing night’s sleep but I’ll explore this more in another post.
- Quiet Time – but not too much of it. Now I know you’re probably thinking that’s the last thing you need but hear me out. You can feel lonely in a crowd so there’s something in this. You don’t have to spend hours alone you can start small: 10 minutes here, 20 minutes there - 30 minutes seems to be the average. So what do you do during that time? Take stock of how you are feeling physically and mentally. Did anything happen during your day to trigger negativity? What made you laugh or smile? Some people find it useful to keep a diary. Whatever you do, don’t rush through it use the time constructively.
Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone.
I’m learning too so if you have any useful tips leave a comment down below. While you’re here why not subscribe to our newsletter? It’s the best way to stay in touch, find out what’s happening on this site and about Ghanaian events in London.
